Hannah Scribbles

Star Wars Madness: Semi-Finals!

In Sci-Fi on April 5, 2013 at 9:01 am

Light Side:  Yoda vs. R2-D2

There’s no denying Yoda got a little crotchety in his old age.  Twenty years spent in exile on a swamp planet can do that to a person!  So when young Skywalker and his handy astromech droid, Artoo, showed up, he had to see what was what before revealing his identity.  Artoo didn’t take kindly to having their food reserves stolen and reacted with characteristic zeal.  Yoda gave him a good thumping with his walking cane in payback, and I’m not sure whether the two ever reconciled their differences.

Verdict:

yoda-dagobahYoda wins both the argument and the fight!  If you’d been stranded on a swamp planet for 20 years, I’m sure you would want to expand your palette, too.  Even rations taste better than mud dwelling creatures and mushrooms.

Sure, Yoda can be crotchety, but he’s adapted well to life on the planet. He can also lift an entire X-wing fighter out of the primordial ooze of Dagobah and restore it to dry ground.  His powers are far from gone. Meanwhile, Artoo almost got himself eaten by a bog monster on his first day there.

Dark Side:  Darth Vader vs. Boba Fett

I hoped the brackets wouldn’t come down to this.  Darth Vader, the fallen Jedi trained by Obi-Wan Kenobi himself, against one of the most competent killers-and-or-retrievers in the galaxy.  In a fight against Vader, Fett might have trouble getting in an effective shot through the life support suit/armor.  I also predict, once again, that his jetpack would be unable to get him out of trouble. I was assured that Vader would win until Fett beat the freakin’ emperor of the galaxy, a being so full of evil that even Vader could not overcome him.

Verdict:

Vader with emperorDarth Vader crushes Fett!  Serving as the Emperor’s lackey does not mean Vader is somehow incompetent.  In fact, the only reason the Emperor kept him on the periphery was because he posed a threat – and as punishment for breaking the Rule of Two by taking on “Starkiller” as his apprentice.  Vader learned some subtlety from his time with the Emperor, and I’m willing to bet he’d pull a Cloud City on Fett to get the upper hand.

Who do you think would win?  Would Fett slip through Vader’s fingers? Would Artoo beat up on the poor Hermit of Dagobah (that title is made up, by the way)?  You decide!

Also, thank you to Galacticbinder.com for some of the photos used today… and for giving me the opportunity to read “Top 10 Star Wars Original Trilogy Head Scratchers.”

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  1. […] Battling his way up the ranks, Darth Vader went head-to-head with General Grievous on the first day of competition, annihilating the cyborg with 90 percent of the vote.  In Round Two, Vader had a harder time besting the acrobatic Sith assassin Darth Maul but emerged triumphant with 79 percent of the vote.  Next, he squashed Jabba the Hutt in an easy victory before taking on one of his favorite hires, Boba Fett, in the semi finals. […]

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