Hannah Scribbles

Star Wars Madness: A Force to be Reckoned With

In Sci-Fi on April 2, 2013 at 7:20 am

As we move on from yesterday’s shocking Fett-a-Fett duel, take a moment to consider how far we’ve come.  Bad bracketing knocked out some solid characters in the first round (Mace Windu, I’m thinking about you, man), and even crummier bracketing left some Star Wars nobodies squaring off against heavyweights like Luke Skywalker and Emperor freakin’ Palpatine.  On the dark side, we had three intolerable days of bounty hunters.

Now the scales are tipping in favor of force-users.  But, as we’ll see in upcoming bouts, fortune does not equally favor the force.

Light Side:  Chewbacca vs. Ahsoka Tano

Chewbacca served his people as a warrior during the Clone Wars and became renowned as one of Kashyyyk’s greatest fighters.  He was lethal with a crossbow and capable of ripping people’s arms from their sockets.  He was strong, mechanically inclined and lethal with a crossbow – but he wasn’t always smart enough to avoid an obvious trap (who doesn’t fall for the old hunk-of-meat-on-a-stick routine every now and then?).

Ahsoka Tano possesses an innate talent for telekinesis and, despite her young age, is skilled in multiple forms of lightsaber combat.  She’s a force to be reckoned with, and if she can kill her buddy Captain Rex she is definitely dangerous.

Verdict:

ahsoka tano, star wars jedi, anakin padawan, darth vader padawanTano beats Chewbacca, takes the win!  While Chewie’s temper is nothing to be trifled with, there is also a reason Tano won here.  Not only is she aggressively tempered and capable of backing it up with raw, physical combat, but her connection to the force makes her a telekinetic terror.  I would not want to fight this girl where she can throw around heavy machinery. Or walls.

Dark Side:  Count Dooku vs. Emperor Palpatine

Both Dooku and Palpatine emerged from their bouts unscathed.  The two Sith lords – well, Dooku never made it past apprentice stage – easily overcame their unworthy rivals and passed to the quarter finals.  Their assent was virtually assured against whimpering villains such as Tarkin and IG-88.

Against each other, however, it is a different story.  With superb telekinetic abilities capable of hurling hunks of metal across a hangar bay, Dooku is a formidable foe.  Remember, this is the guy who knocked out Kenobi, lightning blasted Skywalker and fought off Jedi Master Yoda – of course, he probably would have lost if he hadn’t played dirty.

Before he gathered so much dark side energy that he became a crippled, wrinkly dude, Palpatine had the physical strength to duel Yoda.  As cunning as he was powerful, Palpatine was not above injuring himself to get his point across. For example:  he let Mace Windu reflect his own force lighting  back on hims so he could convince Anakin (hopelessly naïve as he was) that the Jedi were trying to take over the government.  Anakin distracted Mace Windu, providing Palpatine with enough time to kill the powerful Jedi.  This is also why he is so wrinkly and gross.

Verdict:

emperor palpatine, darth sidious, dark side, imperial shuttlePalpatine wins!  Anyone who can sacrifice an apprentice he cultivated over decades based on the mere promise of obtaining a stronger servant is pretty diabolical.  And, after all that, Palpatine almost left Vader for dead on Mustafar!

That’s not to say Dooku didn’t mastermind some things, like Ventress of Grievous.  But the fallen Jedi’s antics are far beneath what Palpatine could scheme.  Not to mention that Palpatine’s power in the dark side enabled him to survive enough force lighting to kill a person several times over.

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  1. […] Leia in a false ship malfunction, Artoo moves on to battle Chewbacca.  Meanwhile, Chewbacca is bandaging his wounds from the match where he managed to best a skilled Jedi padawan capable of knocking down walls with […]

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