Hannah Scribbles

Star Wars Madness Day Five: No Contest

In Sci-Fi on March 22, 2013 at 7:57 am

I have some qualms about today’s matches.  Neither match properly qualifies as “Light Side” or “Dark Side.”  Perhaps the brackets take alliances into consideration, in which case Boba Fett would indeed belong on the dark side for accepting money from the force choking ruler of the galaxy.  The ethics of this pairing is very wishy-washy.

Light Side:  R2-D2 vs. C-3PO

C-3PO, human-cyborg relations, never got sick of telling people he was fluent in over 6,000,000 forms of communication.  Yeah, we get it already, Threepio.  When a young Anakin Skywalker rebuilt Threepio out of scraps, the droid served him around the house – but his main task was always to translate.  Skywalker later gave Threepio to Padme Amidala as a wedding present.  While he served the senator with data analysis and communications, Threepio often found himself unwillingly in the midst of major conflicts.  He pops up at crucial times in the galaxy, providing unnecessarily whiny commentary while his companions actually affect the outcome (I still prefer him to Jar Jar Binks, though).

Threepio’s sometimes companion R2-D2 is an astromech droid whose endless supply of gadgets saved lives across the galaxy.  Artoo can extinguish fires, project holograms, repair starships, hotwire locks and play music.  Artoo worked with Padme following the blockade of Naboo before being assigned to Anakin Skywalker some years later.  The astromech droid worked with Skywalker on the frontlines of the Clone War and, after Skywalker’s fall to the dark side, served Bail Organa of Alderaan.

Verdict:

R2-D2 dagoba, R2-D2 luke skywalker, Star wars character tournament, star wars droids, astromech droidArtoo trumps Threepio for nagging him all day.  Artoo played an instrumental role in retrieving princess Leia from the Death Star, escaping Cloud City and freeing Han Solo and Luke Skywalker from Jabba the Hutt.  He also got feisty with Yoda, which is ballsy no matter how old and eccentric the Jedi Master had become.  Artoo comes equipped with his famous periscope, an air cannon, cable gun and a stubborn sense of adventure.  While Threepio might be able to call for help, Artoo would zap the gold-plated worry wart with his electric pike and call it a day.

Dark/Neutral Side:  Boba Fett vs. Dengar

Boba Fett has so much drama in his childhood he should try out to play lead in Annie.  Boba Fett is a clone of his “father” raised in the righteous ways of the Mandalorian bounty hunter. Following the death of his father in front of him, little Boba has to strap on the big guns and stay alive… which he managed quite well if I (and the rest of Star Wars fandom) do say so. Fett Jr., despite his youth, teamed up with more infamous bounty hunters and mercenaries and pulled some risky jobs.  He later became the ruler of the Mandalorian people and lived to teach younger generations how to stay alive fighting force users.

Dengar is a formidable opponent who was injured in a swoop race and repaired using experimental Imperial cybernetics. Removed from emotions, Dengar became an unforgiving killer. The emotionless murdered was contracted primarily as an assassin because he tended not to bring in many bounties alive. He was one of the galaxy’s most effective killers for hire and worked to “capture” people from the Emperor’s Most Wanted list.  Dengar teamed up on multiple occasions with other bounty hunters like Boba Fett, Bossk and, incidentally, dark Jedi Asajj Ventress.

Verdict:

Boba Fett, star wars clone, clone wars, jango fett, boba fett badass, Boba Fett reigns triumphant!  You try surviving as a 10-year-old after your father dies while the entire galaxy slides into war!  Better yet, try surviving a trip into a Sarlacc.  Fett Jr. should be respected not only because of his tenacity but because he’s actually good at what he does.  After becoming widely recognized as the best bad guy in the galaxy, Fett took on the title of Mandalore, the “sole ruler” of the Mandalorians.

And I mean, come on, just look at that photo! This fantastic picture of Boba Fett is brought to you by Dan LuVisi.  While you’re here, just take an extra step and look at his work; you won’t be disappointed.

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  1. […] far had a gimmick.  There were the two scoundrel friends, the two pilot friends from Red Squadron, the two robot friends, the master-apprentice duo (they were friends) and the mom vs. daughter combination of Padme and […]

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