Per Resolution passed Jan. 1, 2013 I hereby resolve not to buy any books during 2013 under the following conditions:
A. Provided that the above mentioned “books” do not include textbooks, class-relevant or relating in part or whole toward furthering my professional career upon May commencement. This excludes from the above Resolution all non-fiction books pertaining to the study and practice of journalism; biographies, autobiographies and memoirs of journalists; magazines, newspapers and other print journals of repute (see subclause A.1); explanatory non-fiction works dealing with relevant topics (see subclause A.2); general writing guides dealing with word usage and grammar; the 2012 AP Stylebook.
A.1 Whereas proposed print sources of repute include Nature, Scientific American, Science, National Geographic, Smithsonian, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Wired, Popular Science, Discover, The New Yorker and Times. For the aforementioned sources, a stipend of $20 per month is to be provided for discretionary spending that month only without rollover. Further sources may be approved pending review.
A.2 Relevant topics to include general science, physics, astronomy, pathology, human anatomy, animal physiology, information technologies, language, etymology, historical science, general nature, pollution and conservation, water sustainability, sustainable cities, philosophy, business, current political events and historical political events whereas said books deal in part with aforementioned current events.
B. Provided that above mentioned “books” do not include used books purchased in physical secondhand book stores for reasonable rates (those rates not exceeding $3.00 per paperback, $10 per hardback; dictionaries to be determined on an as-needed basis.)
The library of essential knowledge
C. Provided that the above mentioned “books” do not include those fiction and non-fiction titles intended as birthday, Independence Day, Thanksgiving or Christmas presents to friends or family. In such cases that the book is ordered ahead of time, it is thereby permissible to read said book before gifting it provided that the book does not become damaged, crinkled or stained with tea. Available funding to be assessed at time of purchase but is not to exceed $80 for the entirety of 2013; funding subject to cuts based on need as indicated in subclauses A.1 and A.2.
D. Provided the above mentioned “books” do not include paperback classics sold by street vendors deep in the heart of Brooklyn, whereas these purchases are legitimized by a second opinion on their status in classic literature beyond that of the seller and buyer. Maximum allowance is $2.50 per book.
E. Provided the above mentioned “books” do not include paperbacks and hardbacks recovered from garage sales, yard sales or estate sales.
F. Provided the above mentioned “books” do not include those quality books purchased from local library book sales and priced up to but not exceeding $5.00 per book in ordinary circumstances and $10.00 on special occasions.
Don’t Underestimate Libraries
G. Provided the above mentioned “books” do not include those books released in 2013 that either conclude or further a series in which I have deeply invested interest.
“Kill ALL the Characters!”
Did you really resolve anything?
I actually feel as though I did. Per the above Resolution I am prohibited from spontaneous book purchases on my Nook, on the Barnes & Noble website, Amazon website and physical chain bookstore locations. Said books would then go through a review process to determine whether they meet the requirements or are, in fact, just fiction books I am curious to read because I am browsing the shelves.
I should add an addendum for instances where a third party purchases a book on my prohibited list. In such cases, any subsequent books in the series may fall under Provision G.